Dual Booting on Nvidia Optimus without ACPI in BIOS

Hi all,

For the past year I've been trying to install kali (or any linux distro) alongside Windows 10. Thing is, no matter what I do, I never seem to get it working.

I can't live boot (for reasons that will be explained) so I install with the graphical installer and everything goes well. I reboot, and the computer boots to Windows. This is problematic however, since I am unable to change the boot order (since I can't boot to kali to access terminal and change the boot order, and GRUB doesn't show in BIOS to allow me to change it there). I can't boot to USB either since there is no ACPI boot option in my BIOS, and when I do, it throws infinite ACPI errors.

I must have put more than 60 hours into blundering through these errors, and I'm at my wit's end. I must have read every FAQ and forum post in existence.
If anyone can help me out, I would be very happy!

Things I have tried:
- Changing secure boot policy
- Changing boot mode from UEFI to legacy
- Changing boot order with easyBCD
- Writing ISO to USB with every conceivable combination of options
- Fully reinstalling windows then installing linux
- Fully reinstalling linux then installing windows
- Installing kali in every conceivable mode (CSM, UEFI, the whole 9 yards)
- Sacrificing a pigeon to Lord Torvalds
- Rebuilding BCD from windows after installing kali
- Completely rebuilding EFI partition after installing kali
- Crying
- Installing a completely different linux OS (Ubuntu, Pop!, Elementary, Arch) which also didn't boot
- Fully wiping the disk and starting anew

Kind regards (and eagerly awaiting your replies!)
Bjorn